Meeting the Needs of the Adopted Child
Thursday, August 7, 2008
"What can I do?" I often wonder. The needs are so great. There are so many children waiting to be adopted. What can I as one single woman do? The answer continues to ring within my soul. Do what you can?
"What can I do?" many adoptive parents say. Although they love their adopted child they often feel beyond their strength and ability to cope. The answer is still the same. Do what you can?
It is all too easy to focus on what you can't do. You can't change the past particularly what your child experienced. You can't change the genes. No, that is set in place. You can't change ....Well the list can go on and on. And as the list grows the fears and worries of not being able to cope mount too.
So, let's change the focus. What can you do? You can begin to accept what you cannot change. You can begin to change what you can. Like what, you might be asking. Well, you can increase your support system. You can increase your resources with the help of doctors, counselors and coaches who have expertise with adopted children. You can get more information on the issues you are dealing with. You can increase focused attention on your adopted child. You can learn some skills in building a healthy family which is focused on the needs of your adopted child and the other members. Yes, you can.
Wow, something happens the more one's attitude becomes positive and solution focused. It is as if one gets in alignment with the Answer and things begin to change. I remember the mother who was simply at her wits end trying to manage the anger of her 3 year old who had been adopted a few months before and the needs of her older sibling whose family system had changed. As soon as this mother took intentional steps to become solution focused things began to slowly change.
Yes, I remember because that mother was me. It all began with a change in my heart and mind but it changed everything. So, what can you do? Do what you can!!
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